


5 Voicemails

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Humor, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-09-15
Updated: 2006-09-15
Packaged: 2018-09-03 05:31:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8698969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Five Voicemail Messages Jensen Left Jared (but deleted before Jared, you know, heard them) and Five Voicemail Messages Jared Left Jensen (and tried to delete them, but pushed the wrong button. Oops.)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).

**Five Voicemail Messages Jensen Left Jared (but deleted before Jared, you know, heard them)--**

  
  
  
1\. _You got Jared. Do your thing at the beep and I’ll get back to you._  
  
“Yeah, um, this is Jensen. Ackles? We met at Tom’s and got drunk together…okay, we fucked. Yeah. Surprise. Anyway, I’m not pregnant or anything – heh – but um, look. I got your number from Mikey and just wanted to…just wanted to call and say. Hell. I don’t know. Thanks? Fuck, you probably don’t even remember…how the hell do you delete this shit…”  
  
  
  
2\. _You got Jared. Do your thing at the beep and I’ll get back to you._  
  
“Jared. Jensen Ackles. I’m staying at the Hilton in the Hills, room 204, in case you didn’t get my note. Just wondering if you’d be interested in…whatever. I’ll be here ‘til the end of the month. Just um, hit me up. If you wanna talk or whatever. Whatever.”  
  
  
  
3\. _You got Jared. Do your thing at the beep and I’ll get back to you._  
  
“Your friend Chad is a jackass, man. Jus’ a total jackass. Why do you like that guy? Huh? No, I ain’t drunk you gigantic motherfucker, so don’ even start. I _hate_ that guy, Jay. I think…I think he might be the devil. I’d know – I went to church a lot. Here’s the thing. Stop _looking_ at him, man. Stop touching him. It pisses me off. You wanna touch something, I gotta perfec-perfectly good dick right here in Vancouver. Get your skinny ass on a plane. Don’t touch Chad. Damn it.”  
  
  
  
4\. _You got Jared. Do your thing at the beep and I’ll get back to you._  
  
“Yeah, fuck you. It’s not like you ever check this goddamn thing anyway. Like keepin’ in touch with a damn brick wall. With a better ass. Anyway, I haven’t heard from you in awhile…seeing what your plans are for this network deal coming up. Thought maybe we could hook up or whatever. Later.”  
  
  
  
5\. _You got Jared. Do your thing at the beep and I’ll get back to you._  
  
“I found a bug in my shower this morning. Fucking huge. I named it Jared and then stomped its guts out. Know why? Because the fucker doesn’t answer his phone.”  
  
  
  
 

**Five Voicemail Messages Jared Left Jensen (and tried to delete them, but pushed the wrong button. Oops.)--**

  
  
  
  
1\. _You've reached Jensen, and I’m not around at the moment. If it’s important, call my agent. He has no life. Later._  
  
“Hi, Jensen. This is Jared Padalecki…PaDAlecki, not Pala…god. Okay. Did that actually _happen_ last night? You know, that thing on Tom’s bed where you kinda…and I kinda…with my dick…oh, God. Call me?”  
  
  
2\. _You've reached Jensen, and I’m not around at the moment. If it’s important, call my agent. He has no life. Later._  
  
“Jensen, it’s Jared Padalecki again. Ignore that last message. It definitely happened.”  
  
  
3\. _You've reached Jensen, and I’m not around at the moment. If it’s important, call my agent. He has no life. Later._  
  
“Hi, Jen. God, um, this is a little…heh…awkward. But you left some underwear in my apartment and, well, do you want me to mail them back? Okay, I really just wanted to see what you were doing. I don’t have your underwear.”  
  
  
4\. _You've reached Jensen, and I’m not around at the moment. If it’s important, call my agent. He has no life. Later._  
  
“This is getting ridiculous, dude. I’m not a fucking chick, all right? I’m not gonna keep calling your _agent_ and telling him to tell you to call me. I’m _not_. So you can just ignore the message I just left him, because that was before I made the decision to ignore your ass. Anyway. Oh, and stop fucking smoking. It gives you yellow teeth. God.”  
  
  
5\. _You've reached Jensen, and I’m not around at the moment. If it’s important, call my agent. He has no life. Later._  
  
“What are you wearing?”  
  
  
 


End file.
